Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Dear Laundry ...

 Dear Laundry,

We have not really interacted since ... oh... 10 o'clock last night.  Next to Dishes, you're the most demanding Household Chore.  Hubby would probably say lawn work tops both... but he's a guy and I say let it grow so the bunnies can eat it.  I like bunnies!

I don't mind hanging out with you even though you are pretty demanding and come with not one, but two really loud alarms.  I have a little secret.  It's about you.  I like you the best.  

Don't tell Dishes or I might have a little mutiny and that's not good for anyone.  Because you're my favorite, I don't like sharing you with others.  I know the rhythm and how well we work together.  I also think you smell pretty good.  Except when your washing lid has been closed for a while, then you're a bit musty.  But it's still better than Garbage Disposal, Trash or Recylying!  PEEEWW!

Okay, here's the thing.  Because you're my favorite and all, I feel like I can be honest with you.  I have two pretty significant concerns.

1. Pockets- Seriously, can't you tell me if there is something random floating around in someones pockets?  Isn't there an alarm or something?  

 The diaper I recently washed (it was clean) - the one that exploded when I picked it up.  Yeah, that sucked the big one.  Do you really enjoy the taste of paper and #2 pencils? Chapstick is not a food.  Promise.

You know there's a word for that.  It's called Pica.  It's a medical disorder.  You should seek help.  

2. Socks - You have to stop hoarding our socks. 

I know they are fun to make sock puppets with and are also good for warming your feet.  But you don't HAVE feet.    The designs are funky, the colors are bright, the dingy white ones make good rags for cleaning and the really white ones are still cushy and soft.  But they're not yours.  

I kinda hate sorting socks , but it makes me doubly annoyed when I can only match 1/2 of my basket.  

Okay.  I feel better now that we're both on the same page.  

See you ... in about 42 minutes!

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